"Being A Man In 2020": Meet Darwin Shaw




We have all said it, or some variation of it: "When I grow up, I’m going to be so much better than my parents”. Some of us mimic what we experienced while some of us do just the opposite of what our parents did. As a middle-aged man, I think my greatest challenge of being a man in 2020 is accepting my limitations in the lives of my legally adult children.


Some fathers struggle with babies, while others struggle with the teen years. For me, the early years were awesome. I was Mr. Dad, extremely hands on with all of them. I felt I was born to be their dad during this period of their lives. When they entered middle school, they needed me less. “Hang in there”, I told myself, “this won’t last long”. My youngest two children are twins (boy/girl). During middle school, my relationship with my daughter was strained while my son and I got along well. In high school, the relationship with my daughter flourished while the one with my son was strained. It was a crazy time, in that if I told my son it was raining, he’d swear the sun was shining. Now that my youngest two have a year of college under their belts and are on their own paths for success, our relationships continue to develop. I find myself mourning the early years and being anxious about their futures. I find myself struggling to let them make their own mistakes which will accelerate their growth. Accepting where my life ends and theirs begins is an ongoing challenge.


Fathers of children older than mine tell me these feelings do not go away. They advise me to pray and accept these feelings as the cost of loving someone more than we love ourselves while wanting to see them excel and do better than we did. As a dad, I continue to rely on my faith. When I was new to parenting, I heard my grandmother talk about the power of prayer as it relates to parenthood, I now know what she meant. As a dad, I have to give my worries to God and recognize the lack of control I have over lives that are not mine.


June 18, 2020 - July 8, 2020, 15 strong, confident and truth-seeking men will share some of their struggles, accomplishments, and challenges of 2020… You don’t want to miss this, so make sure you check back as they reveal what it's like "Being A Man In 2020"…

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© 2020  by John Patrick Adams