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  • John Patrick Adams

Insecure: You Can't Fix Him/Her...




The other day I was having a conversation with a buddy of mine who is currently in a relationship with an insecure woman… You know the woman who has a problem with everything; everyone, and everywhere the man wants to go… The woman who has been hurt; fears being hurt again, and the woman who is doing everything in her power to prevent ever being hurt again… The woman who has daddy issues; baby daddy issues… As I sat there and listened to him share his heart, I could hear his frustration…


You see he’s one of the rare ones.., You know the man who wants to be committed; love, and provide for a woman… The man who has been hurt, but has reconciled it and willing to face the future and possibilities of ever being hurt again head on… The man who see’s the value of a woman, because of his love for the woman he calls Mom… He sees and wants a future, family and a forbidden love like never before, but because she has hang-ups and hookups from her past, she’s potentially running away a man who wants to be there.


One thing I’ve learned is you can’t fix a woman/man… No matter how hard you try, if she/he lacks the desire to change, your work is in vain. When dealing with an insecure person there will always be problems which leads to manipulation, control and sometimes abuse. Insecurity I truly believe is a disease of the mind in which kills self-esteem, self-worth and value. A disease which blurs the realities of an individual leaving her/him with a clouded perception. A disease that poisons relationships; friendships and everyday life. Insecurities is the cancer cell that spreads through relationships, eating away layers of love, trust and hope.


What I know for sure is… You can’t fix an insecure person and if they’re unwilling to change on their own, things will only worsen. Insecure people will cause you to find blame in yourself if you aren’t careful. Over time you will stop doing the things you love; stop hanging with friends; stop going places all in efforts to make him/her happy. The truth about an insecure person is he/she speaks inclusive, yet they want exclusive ownership of you. Living a life with someone who finds everything to be a problem is not living, you’re coping… You’re moving through life unhappy; chained and in bondage… In no way am I saying you should break up with her/her, not my call…. You can’t live a free life if you’re chained to the fears of someone else…


Check out the lastest Brown Liquor & Cigars Podcast ""Trusting" Or "Triffling" Man?"






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